Cape Town's beleaguered 2010 stadiums have been hit by yet another construction-halting problem — a labyrinth of underground tunnels and the subsequent inability of stadium architects to lay down grass has threatened to foil the Mother city's dreams of hosting the 2010 World Cup.

The problem lies, not with striking construction workers, angry residents or a budget deficit, but rather with a group of small, furry creatures who have been attracted by the sweet promise of high-quality grass.

A large number of Cape Golden Moles (bafanaris miserables) have already destroyed the grass at Athlone Stadium laid less than a week ago and planners refuse to continue laying down grass at the remaining stadiums until the mole-outbreak has been contained.

2010 grass disaster?

According to zoology Professor Gary Bronner, the moles were attracted to the stadium because of the rich, high-quality soils and the superb irrigation system. The sudden introduction of this high-quality grass, which is grown off location, has upset the moles' natural ecosystem, causing confusion and uncharacteristic behaviour.

Construction workers were startled to see hundreds of moles frolicking on the would-be soccer field when they arrived at work on Tuesday. While some have described the moles as "cute", others have raised the obvious questions of whether they will be paid while the work is halted and whether or not the moles are Cosatu-sanctioned.

The trade union has threatened to down tools if the moles are not quickly dealt with, but getting rid them may prove trickier than securing a pay rise. While these particular moles are not on the endangered species list, animal rights activists have threatened to embark on a naked sit-in at the stadium (where they may or may not burn effigies of Danny Jordaan in what looks suspiciously like a fur coat) if the city even contemplates getting rid of the moles.

"The moles were here first," said animal activist April First. "Animals shouldn't have to suffer just because a bunch of sissy boys want to play with a ball."

At the time of publication, it was unclear where Mayor Helen Zille stood on the matter, but this ravenous group of subterranean inhabitants may very well put her promise of an 'open opportunity society for all' to the test.


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