"Our mission was to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people," he said recently. "When I got there, I feel as though we were doing the exact opposite, and not 'we' as in my unit, 'we' as in an international force... In a war, we tend to treat people as criminals until they are proven innocent."

When his unit was called up to go back to Iraq and his conscientious objector application was denied, Wilkerson went into hiding. Until being absent without leave for more than 18 months created a new paranoia.

Awaiting punishment

Nearly two weeks after he turned himself in to his unit at Fort Hood in Texas, the baby-faced 22-year-old soldier is still awaiting word on his punishment.

Wilkerson is one of 4653 soldiers who have gone "absent without leave" (AWOL) since the Iraq war began, a military spokesperson said.

That is less than one percent of the total number of troops enlisted in the army and the desertion rate has dropped by 50 percent since the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, said Army spokesperson Major Nathan Banks. It does not include deserters from other branches of the military.

Most soldiers go AWOL because of personal, family, or financial problems, not for political or conscientious objector purposes, Banks said, noting that the Army has been a volunteer force since 1973 and that only about 60 soldiers a year apply for conscientious objector status.

Desertion is a crime

While desertion is a crime, the army does not actively look for deserters, Banks said.

Most deserters who turn themselves in or are apprehended by police — usually during a traffic stop — are reintegrated into their units: only 176 were court-marshalled in 2004.

In times of war, desertion can be punishable by death. More likely punishments include dishonourable discharge and up to five years in prison.

Wilkerson, who joined the Army in the summer of 2001 as a military policeman, is confined to his base and restricted from performing law enforcement activities.

In an online blog, he said he was enjoying the chance to catch up with old friends and get back into shape. He is spending many of his evenings reading in his room.

"I am enjoying the solitude I have right now," he wrote. "It allows me to think, and concentrate solely on my own thoughts."

Veterans against the war

Wilkerson — who is pictured on his blog in his uniform and also in a T-shirt which reads "Iraq Veterans Against the War" — expressed outrage that some of his friends were getting ready for their third year-long deployment to Iraq.

"I want you all to remember that there is a difference between supporting the troops and supporting the war," he wrote.

Wilkerson did not want to talk much about the details of his time in hiding.

"For the first two or three months, I was afraid I'd be caught by somebody," Wilkerson said recently. "I wasn't sure how hard they would be looking for me."

When he left the base he drove around the country for a while, finding odd jobs to keep himself going. He eventually joined up with anti-war activists and used his surrender as an opportunity to speak out against the war.

"There were many experiences that I had in Iraq that made me question my mission, and also made me change the way I viewed spirituality, relationships, our government, and my life in general," he said at a press conference.

"I am not willing to kill, or be killed, or do anything else I consider morally wrong, for reasons I don't believe in."