iafrica.com reader Rocky shares memories of his childhood and his current frustration with race relations in South Africa in his attempt to explain, for those from other perspectives, the White Plight.

I am a 34-year-old, white, English-speaking South African male (a Wasp to be specific). I am proud to be South African and love this country dearly; it would break my heart if I were 'forced' to leave, as I truly do not know where I would go.

My roots are well-established in this country. My father's family arrived from the UK in 1834 (my great, great, great grandfather) and my mother's family arrived from the UK just prior to 1900. As a result, all of my grandparents and great-grandparents were born in this country. I therefore feel deeply offended when some sectors of our community believe that I am here to take all that I can from this country, and then return overseas.

To whom and to what?

I lived in the UK (for just short of a year) once I had finished studying and enjoyed my time there ? with South Africans of all races! ? but I could never live there permanently.

South Africa is my life. All that I am is based on/in this country. I am a White African ? specifically a South African. I feel that many sectors of our community cannot comprehend this situation. I also feel marginalised and deeply offended when our very own President tells the country that an Afrikaans-speaking white is more of a South African than I am. Being quoted out of context is not an excuse!

The legacy of Apartheid

I grew up in an apolitical family. My parents had taught me to respect my elders. My first brush with the harshness of Apartheid was when I was five years old. My brother, two years old at the time, was being carried on our domestic worker's back ? African-style. Whilst walking down the road with Daphne, a police car drew up alongside us; we had only walked about 50 metres away from our home. The police questioned Daphne about a few things and I could tell that there was a problem from the way Daphne spoke to me. She told me with a saddened expression on her face and in her tone of voice to take my brother back home, and to tell my mother that she had gone with the police.

I watched Daphne get into the back of the police van and started to cry. Why had the police taken Daphne away, we loved her, what did she do that was naughty/wrong? The reality of the 'Pass Law'.

A few months later, Elina arrived to work as a domestic worker for our family. An immediate bond formed between this remarkable women and our family (and with me particularly). Thirty years later, she remains an integral part of our family ? not by the nature of her work, but because of who she is. I, again, get hugely offended by those who state that she is liked by us because of her subservience, never questioning and being told what to do, treated like a slave!

Not Elina ? an ANC supporter ? this woman has a mind of her own. She has always been paid an above average and fair wage and my parents have schooled and supported her child, who was born when I was 14 in 1989. My parents were/are not your typical white liberals ? they are a shining example of the good in humanity. They believed what the government told them about 'terrorists' (which is what the ANC were to whites when they took up the armed struggle) but did not translate that to mean that all blacks were terrorists. Owning her own company my mother employed about 100 people; she was still able to see the humanity, goodness and kindness in these individuals although they were branded as terrorists. She took each person for who they were, and so we were taught.

I remember travelling in my mother's car in the school holidays accompanied by my brother and cousins. I had heard the K-word and used it in a sentence in the car. My mother stopped the car, shouted at me and smacked me for using the word (I did not know what it meant, let alone the negative connotations that it had) and I remember going red in the face and feeling very embarrassed. It was a word that never became part of my vocabulary. Had I have known how offensive and hurtful this word was, I would never have said it in the car that day, as I would never have wanted to cause Elina hurt. You don't understand the bond that I have with this woman ? she truly is a second mother.

The White Plight

So Huntley moved to Canada, but he got the story wrong. Whites are not the sole victims of crime; we are, unfortunately, all affected by the savagery. Crime is not normal crime in South Africa; it is extremely violent, a level of violence that my culture is not accustomed to. However, whites do endure a constant bombardment of racial victimisation and blame on a daily basis. Malema and the ANC are big on labelling whites as a problem of the past and the present. This continual psychological victimisation, whether it be from the idiotic mouth of Malema or the cold, ignoring arrogance of Thabo Mbeki (that he showed towards Tony Leon) ? this is the White Plight. It is easy to confuse this overt hatred with personal victimisation when you are a victim of crime, particularly on seven occasions. Perhaps these cases were reported, perhaps they were not. Because of these continual slurs I have been feeling very victimised and unhappy in a country that I love and never want to leave.

I could go on, but in summary I feel there are number of things that fuel racism in this country ? it is not an easy topic to answer emphatically. I do feel that education plays a massive role as there are many educated people of all races who bond and are the best of friends because they are able to relate to one another. I do feel that race and class are inherently linked in our country, for obvious reasons, and there is a whole debate around mistaking classism for racism.

My brother and I both studied Zulu as a third language to matric. We relate to black people in the street and at work much more than any of our friends. We are so fortunate and appreciative that we learnt a bit of this wonderful language as it has helped us forge amazing relationships ? both casual and lasting.

The dream of a Rainbow Nation

My golden rule is to treat everyone as I would like to be treated (a cliche, but one that a few more people should learn). I take offence to blanket labelling of whites as racists and honestly believe that something should be done about these allegations. I also take offence to the fact that black people can used the K-word in jest, as in, 'What's up my k*****?'. If the word is so demeaning and hurtful, it is hypocritical to use it in jest. The word has a bad connotation and should not be used at all.

I believe that this country has the potential to become a leading nation in the world, but we all need to deliver the goods. Our leaders need to preach a message of responsibility. Whatever you do, or say, no matter who you are, you are responsible for the consequences! I also do believe we have the potential to become a flop. This is seen as a negative, racist way of thinking, but there is too much that is happening (or not) in the last few years, which is detrimental to our development. Violent, savage crime is our main problem and its perpetrators are frequently from a particular sector of our society; why do people not speak about this? Call a spade a spade.

We need proper leaders who are not swayed by the opinion of the Comrades, but who manage the country using business principles with an ethical and humane touch. Violent strikes, taxi drivers and other collective behaviour encourage a disliking which, when coupled with the experience of violent crime, may breed or perpetuate racism. Racism is certainly not one-sided in this country ? it is a two way street. People such as Malema continually make ridiculous public statements about whites ? of course you are going to get an inflammatory response on forums or posts, where else can whites vent their disapproval? However, there is a way of doing this, and I have reprimanded a number of people for their seemingly racist comments.

I pray every day for this country to work and for the mud-slinging to end. I have to admit it is damn difficult remaining positive at all times but something still makes me believe in the dream of the Rainbow Nation.

Tomorrow: iafrica.com reader Dave Tait ? born before World War II ? tackles the issue of race from an economic perspective.

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