Mmm... Mmmaa... Mmmaaleh... Really? Do I have to? The Point is so tired of talking about the chubby-cheeked one. I have a secret suspicion that it boils down to jealousy.

The intellectually-challenged youth leader utters one inane comment about the Zillenator's beauty regime and within 30 minutes at least three quarters of South Africa has heard about it.

I've only just managed to persuade my mum to read my column. An act which may very well have doubled my readership numbers.

Now, while a revolutionary-style boycott (à la Nando's and Nedbank) is tempting, it would somewhat defeat the purpose of this column. Whatever his failings, the woodwork aficionado knows what it takes to craft a winning quote — arrogance, insult, and bigotry (the poor grammar is just a bonus).

So, that leaves us with a tepid partial-boycott. Those infected with Malema-madness can click through to page two to see what he had to say this week about land ownership, Zille's ugly fake face, and being a gay icon.

For the disenchanted, the rest of page one is proudly Julius-free.

HOPES OF THE PEOPLE

Despite the fact that the residents of Sakhile are burning everything that they can lay their hands on, Zuma still seems to be fairly confident that the ANC represents the hopes and aspirations of the people.

He also seems to think that this means he can just change laws willy-nilly.

"Therefore, when we say that we are going to strengthen the hand of the police through amending Section 49 of the Criminal Procedure Act, we are basing that on a mandate that an overwhelming majority of South Africans gave the ANC."

Who needs protocol when you have a general all-encompassing mandate from the people?

"At this juncture in our history, the alliance is the only existing political entity that is capable of completing our mission of transforming our society. The alliance leadership carries the hopes and aspirations of the greatest majority of our country and beyond."

And beyond? At a push, I'll give him Zimbabwe.

LICENCE TO SQUEEZE

One guy not too chuffed with Zuma's plans to change the law is Simon Mathibela, who reckons that JZ is to blame for the death of his friend: "The president made a mistake by giving police powers that he could not control."

And, in case you were wondering what those powers are, soon-to-be-general Bheki Cele puts it like this.

"We shall not allow criminals to rule and own our streets. We'll have to squeeze them. We have to squeeze the space for criminals until there is zero space."

Hmm… so are we squeezing the criminals or the space? Squeeze to kill.

Deputy Police Minister Fikile Mbalula didn't help with the issue of clarity when explaining how a super police force will be created by combining the Metro Police with the SAPS.

"We don't want police to be conflated with other NGO that is not well understood… There's nothing that will change, except that we are developing a police force."

And that, folks, is a good example of a non sequitur. Incidentally, it is also a good example of gobbledygook.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

There are times to admit that you are a pathological liar. Admittedly, they are rare. Finding yourself as a State witness under cross-examination is, however, probably not one of them.

"There are certain instances when I lie," said Glen Agliotti.

Hmm... a real winner the State has there.

Click through to page two for all of this week's juicy nonsense from Malema.

Vote in the poll: Is it time to boycott Malema?

Time to say goodbye? Mmm... Mmmaa... Mmmaaleh... The Point would like to boycott the chubby-cheeked one.

The beggar gauntlet Rebekah Kendal reckons that begging is bad for SA because it fosters a culture of dependency.

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