This is going to be tricky. The Point will not mention the He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken. Really, who can argue with 621 votes? That's practically a mandate from the people. I feel tempted to splurge out on some accessories for my car. Maybe a radio.

Luckily, Fikile Mbabula — yes, also raised in that distinguished political kindergarten — has risen to the challenge and filled the void. He too is a little pudgy, so I can almost copy-and-paste all those chubby-cheek jokes.

The not-so-young Fikile has become embroiled in a battle of wits with ANC stalwart Kader Asmal. Ah no, wait, can it still be called a battle if only one side is endowed with wit?

BATTLE OF THE WITS

Fikile threw the first punch. Not intentionally. He simply was.

Asmal countered with a right hook that would have floored a more self-aware man.

"I have this former head of the youth league [Mbalula] who aspires to be secretary general of the ANC, ha, I hope I won't be alive.

"He said we must militarise the police. We spent days and days in 1991 to get away from the idea of a militarised police force. Extraordinary. This is a kind of craziness all of us have to take into account. It is part of that low-level political decision making without reference to the Cabinet."

Fikile, with the ANC firmly in his corner, stormed in throwing a volley of wild punches. He may have nicked Asmal's partially-bald head.

"There may have been a time when Asmal spoke with distinction and authority on ANC matters, but he has become a latter-day Don Quixote, whose ravings do nothing for our movement and our country, but rather make us wonder if he is really not doing others' bidding."

I suspect Mbalula hasn't actually read Cervantes's masterpiece. Nice attempt at obfuscation though: first the literary reference; followed by a brief psychoanalysis and an appeal to patriotism; and then wrapped up nicely with dark hints at a third force.

He topped it all off with a below-the-belt blow.

"The bitterness that comes through Asmal's statements is astounding and betrays a bitter old man struggling to make peace with the realities of the day."

Asmal appealed to the ref.

"Since I believe very strongly that freedom of the press is vital to the maintenance of democracy, I shall continue to exercise this right, which is protected by our Constitution."

Asmal was not the only distinguished scholar to elicit the displeasure of the mighty ANC this week.

The new Vice-Chancellor of the University of the Free State, Jonathan Jansen, has been beaten repeatedly with the righteous-stick for daring to follow the path of reconciliation. Apparently, one of the founding principles of the new South Africa is no longer politically expedient.

The professor, whose inaugural speech extolled the virtues of reconciliation and transformation in a manner that would have made Madiba proud, decided to drop the university's charges against the Reitz Four. The four and the university still have to face criminal charges.

"The institution's own accountability for what happened, and creating the conditions under which racism and racist attacks were even possible on the campus… the institution's desire to create the conditions for racial reconciliation on a deeply divided campus, and, in doing so, to accelerate the chances of transformation at the UFS."

Now there's a leader we, as South Africans, can believe in. Unfortunately, this is what we are stuck with:

"Our view is that such an act will not lead to reconciliation, but it will again harden racial attitudes not only in the university but in the country broadly." — ANC statement.

"We are annoyed by the fact that he was aware before the decisions could be taken that the decisions might divide the nation, but continued with it," said Cosatu's Sam Mashinini.

"The view of the department of higher education and training is that we cannot allow victims of racism to be unconditional unilateral forgivers." — statement from the ministry of higher education.

Luckily, we can still count on the Arch to say all the right, but unpopular, things.

"Your magnanimity has aroused the ire of quite a few, who argue that it could encourage a repeat of such despicable conduct, and that the perpetrators should be dealt with firmly and not with a sentimental wishy-washiness," said Desmond Tutu. "I, on the contrary, salute you, for you have done us proud."

NO WISHY-WASHINESS

Not one for sentimental wishy-washiness, ANC MP Angie Molebatsi provided a few good examples of things not to say at a funeral. Never. Ever.

The funeral in question was that of Olga Kekana, who was shot dead by police who mistook the vehicle in which she was a passenger for a hijacked vehicle. It wasn't even the correct make of car.

"One way or another, we are all going to die, regardless of whether a cop shoots you or you were ill. Let's not lose hope towards the police. Let's keep on trusting them. Forgiveness is what God wants."

Yip, when it is politically convenient.

"This was her destiny; let's not blame the police."

Wow. After such a performance, I can't imagine why anyone would lose hope towards the ANC.

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An expression of freedom? If freedom of expression exists, how does the ANC manage to silence every dissenting voice?

ET back on his high horse "We are being oppressed again. We will rise again." Eugene Terre'Blanche is back. Again.

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