It's pop quiz time! Yip, all this talk of the University of the Free State (and the sheer stupidity surrounding the conversation) has put The Point in a didactic mood.

There are no right answers. And by that, I mean that the answers are all wrong. Enjoy.

THE PRESIDENT-ELECT IS:

(A) A good and capable leader
(B) A romantic poet in the mould of Joseph Goebbels
(C) Likely to self-destruct before he reaches the age of 30
(D) Who? What? What year is this?

If you picked Option A, this may be a good time to renew your ANCYL membership. While you are at it you might want to give yourself a little pat on the back (see question two).

"President M [real name omitted to ward off mass panic] is a true, capable and caring leader of the youth of South Africa and no one will stop us for appreciating his capable leadership."

If you picked either option B or C, you are more likely to belong to this contingent.

"It is easy to refute the suitability of M for pretty much any position of authority; indeed, that refutation is routinely achieved by M himself and there is no need for the DA to set out that case here."

And yet they do.

"Have we really stooped down to debating the degree to which M epitomises good judgment, vision and the ability to unify people behind a cause? It's like being forced to discuss the idea that Goebbels was a romantic poet."

Erm… not exactly the analogy that popped into my head — I would have opted for sci-fi writer.

If you were forced, out of utter confusion, to pick Option D, you probably just lay down for a quick nap, woke up, and discovered that the rules of gravity no longer apply and a guy called M has charmed the pants off a guy called Mr President.

THE ANCYL IS:

(A) Soon to graduate from kindergarten
(B) The fan club of the president-elect
(C) Still not banking at Nedbank or eating at Nando's
(D) The most formidable youth organisation in the world

If you were thinking of cribbing the answer for this one, I would suggest not glancing over at Floyd Shivambu's computer — he's written a bloody essay!

"There is no other youth political organisation in the world, which has as much influence on development, justice and redress as the ANC Youth League."

It is "the most formidable youth political organisation, not only is South Africa, but also in the entire continent and the world."

A simple D would have sufficed. This is, after all, a multiple-choice quiz.

TREVOR MANUEL IS:

(A) Jealous of Helen Zille's papal status
(B) Still dealing with daddy issues
(C) Looking into the legality of shooting to kill Bambi
(D) All of the above

"I'm saying forgive me father for I have sinned, whoever you may be father. For now, I have sinned; I have made an error of judgment. Let's live with it. Period."

Trevor Manuel doesn't know who his father is? No wonder he is using such a curt, dismissive tone. Of course, he could also be talking about that other father (yes, the one with a capital F), in which case a hatred for Bambi and a swanky new car may be the least of his troubles.

"So, we'd all like to be more Catholic than the Pope, and we commend the honourable Zille on having attained that status, but let's be real about this issue as well."

Tip for Trevor: if you want the robes, you need to believe in the big guy upstairs.

(A) Best used with reckless abandon
(B) The property of the ANCYL
(C) Metaphorically, but not technically, a word
(D) A good publicity tool

"In our view, Professor Jansen is equally a criminal like these racist students at the university. We agree with the president [that's the real one, not M] of the ANC — shoot and kill a criminal," said ANCYL Bloemfontein chair Thabo Meeko.

That covers options A, B and D. Luckily our friend Floyd (yes, he of the verbose answers) covered option C.

"He never said he must kill a person. I spoke to him. He was talking about racism."

Ah, yes, Floyd. Shoot and kill a racism.

Young Independent Democrats (clearly not in the same league of formidability as the ANC kids) president Xanthea Limberg put it pretty concisely.

"The buffoons in the ANCYL seem to be acting on the kind of idiocy that assures one that if the word 'kill' is inserted in even the most idiotic drivel, more people will sit up and take notice."

Indeed. Even so, I reckon Prof Jansen double-checked the lock on his door.

Put more eloquently by Kader Asmal:

"The atmosphere of our political life has been debased by the use of intemperate language to deal with alleged criminals (shoot the bastards), to provide support for candidates to office (kill for XYZ), to kill for a cause (against racism), to oppose a medical test on an athlete (minister will cause World War III), or that the use of freedom of expression will lead to inevitable death (by a leader of a political party)."

Unfortunately, neither of Kader Asmal's names begins with an M.

Vote in the poll at the top of the page: The Point is (a) Floyd Shivambu's alter ego (b) Kader Asmal's spokesperson (c) Harbouring a secret crush on M (d) Moonlighting as a praise singer.

In defence of Prof Jansen Rebekah Kendal has come out in defence of Professor Jonathan Jansen over the Reitz saga.

'Shut up and grow up' The ANCYL's latest bout of hate speech has left iafrica reader Andrew de Pomeroy-Legg fuming.

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