Please note that this is satire and should not be taken seriously. All quotes and quoted persons are entirely fictitious.

While motorists in Gauteng continue to pull their hair out over the state of the roads, a hovercraft company is cashing in on Johannesburg's pothole predicament.

Frustrated motorists have been dodging giant potholes for weeks, with burst tyres and dented rims becoming the norm.

But All Aboard Amphibians Ltd, based in Kwa-Zulu Natal, says its new DIY model the 'Crater Skater' is selling like hotcakes.

"We saw a gap in the market and just ran with it from there," said CEO Johnny Glider.

"Some of the city's top businesspeople are trading in their Audis and Beemers for our new DIY kit. We've even had a request for an upmarket version with all the bells, whistles and blue lights for the Minister of Police."

Glider says even if the potholes continue to grow in size, his product will stand up to the test.

"With the Crater Skater, the condition of the terrain is relatively unimportant. Potholes, puddles, even newspaper vendors simply fade into the distance as the Crater Skater glides away at a fairly rapid yet safe speed."

Meanwhile, recently-formed lobby group People Against Potholes And Yawning Abysses (Papaya) has expressed its disappointment that the public has been forced to resort to finding solutions to problems government should have tackled long ago.

"We need this situation like we need a hole in the head," said Papaya spokesperson Tar Pitt. "The City of Johannesburg should have plugged these gaps long ago. Instead, we've got Nissan Micras and small children disappearing into the bowels of the earth every second day."

The Automobile Association (AA) has referred all hovercraft licensing queries to the Department of Transport.

"While the AA appreciates the practicality of using hovercraft in urban areas, we are uncertain whether the Traffic Department has the facilities for potential hovercraft pilots to obtain their licences," explained Ronald Gary of the AA.

Last week, the NSRI made a rare appearance in the land-locked province, assisting with search operations after an entire family last seen on the edge of an average-sized crater in Malibongwe Drive reportedly went missing.

The family has since been found, damp but safe, in China.