Malemamunchkin is a man of his word. Or maybe just a man of words. Many of them. Loosely strung together to form sentences. Here's an example: Nando's me boycott.

Ah, I know what you're thinking. Except for that one time at band camp... er... prison, when he and Jub Jub shared a tasty Nando's snack while the country's youth bayed for blood outside.

When asked why Malema felt the need to visit the country's most-hated jailbird, ANC kindergarten lackey Sonwabo Mbananga said: "Basically, to speak to someone he considered to be youth. We did not ask the reason. We are not really concerned about what they discussed. There is nothing illegal about that."

Poor Juju, maths has never really been a strong point. All those numbers ? thousands of youths outside, one youth inside. It's easy, really, to see how he made that mistake.

Besides which, JuJu and Jub Jub are kindred spirits; both have recently seen the inside of a courtroom. Yip, the tin-tongued one has been found guilty of hate speech. G.U.I.L.T.Y. Guilty. Guilty. Amazing how that never seems to get old.

In handing down her judgment, Magistrate Colleen Collis had some stern words for the semantically-challenged youth leader: "Mr Malema, being a man of vast political influence, be wary of turning into a man that often speaks but never talks."

SEX, TEXT, AND UMSHINI WAM

Clearly a disciple of the Malema School of Rhetoric, Floyd Shivambu made some interesting contributions to the national dialogue this week.

In defence of the indefensible, the articulate Floyd said: "The president sang Umshini Wam, about a gun, and no one has taken up a gun..."

Erm... Floyd... you may want to contextualise that statement.

He also had quite a bit to say on the freedom of expression. He came under fire for threatening to expose the private lives of numerous journalists. Luckily for the journalists, Floyd's expression is so free it can only be understood by a handful of individuals. Most of them enjoy Nando's.

"As responsible citizens, we have got a responsibility to express our views. Freedom of expression applies to all people. Freedom of expression does not mean that it is only the media that must write nonsensical allegations about political leaders. We have got a right as well to express whatever views we deem relevant and truthful."

And, in case you were wondering, the nonsensical allegations that the youth league deems relevant and truthful are pretty much all about fictitious sex. You know, sleeping around is sleeping around.

"We are ready to clarify each and every issue and we are ready to expose journalists who sleep with politicians to get stories. We can give dates and times of journalists who have offered sex."

"We have complete knowledge ? one of the people who have signed [the complaint] ? one of the people there got a politician drunk ? it was meant for story purposes. More than one of the reporters have slept with politicians."

Well, there is one politician whose philandering ways are rather well known... but no journalist I know gets paid well enough.

PHILANDERING POLITICIANS

While we're on the topic of philandering politicians, this may be a good time to mention that His Royal Highness's household expenses doubled in the past year. The Point totally gets it ? Eskom ups its prices, food bills go through the roof, petrol goes up, and, next thing you know, R15-million. Woosh.

"It would be incorrect to expect the Presidency to allocate benefits only to one spouse or to only certain dependent children," explained the ANC. "All spouses and children of the president enjoy equal status in terms of the law and Constitution and are therefore entitled to equal benefits."

When the Zillenator dared to suggest that one should only have as big a family as one could afford and that the cash-strapped taxpayer shouldn't have to foot the bill for JZ's libidinous ways, the ANC flashed the well-worn and somewhat tattered culture-card.

"We cannot allow Zille to take us back to the era that was repulsive, ugly and terrifying by consistently mocking the cultural practices of our people."

Hmm... we're talking about a household bill of R15-million here. That is roughly seven times the president's salary. You may want to be a little more careful about which cultural practices you claim as your own.

And, finally, The Point's favourite quote from the week:

"If Malema is so keen to shoot a boer, let him come shoot me instead of inciting other people to murder defenceless elderly farmers and women. To make it easy for him, I will wait for him at Fort Schanskop at 12 noon on March 19, 2010," said concerned citizen Ben Geldenhuys.

Cue Clint Eastwood. I'm thinking Pale Rider...

Missed last week's offering from The Point? Read it here.