The Point has a riddle: what do a street vendor, one of the world's greatest living physicists and our new team of elite crime-fighters have in common?

Oh… I'm not going to tell you the answer.

It's a riddle — admittedly, a pretty lame one — figure it out.

HAWK TRUMPS SCORPION

On a totally unrelated topic, the Scorpions have been replaced with another scary-sounding (although somewhat less lethal) crime-fighting animal.

"We expect the unit to zoom in on the activities of criminals and destroy their networks, at home and globally," said Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa about the newly-formed Hawks.

Hmm… at home and globally. We can only hope that he is not referring to annual migration patterns. Keeping with the whole bird metaphor, former deputy head of the Scorpions, advocate Thanda Mngwenge, extended a few words of wisdom:

"My advice to you is you have to be thick-skinned as you weather the storms — there will be turbulence out there."

Blah, blah, blah… What everyone really wants to know is: if a hawk took on a scorpion, which would win?

Personally, I'm putting my money on the hawk. One day on the job and they stopped a robbery…before it even happened!

GHOST TRUMPS TAXI

On to law enforcement of a different nature… Taxi drivers can't be blamed for the recent spate of taxi-related deaths; it's all about the recession.

"Then I ride fast, then I ride slow because it's competition. I must give the boss everyday his money and the petrol's going up so I have to work hard and maybe break a few rules here and there," laments a hard-done-by taxi driver.

But wait… there's hope. Well, for those in the Mother City anyway.

"Dubbed the Ghost Squad, members of this specialist force will focus on collision-causing traffic offences such as reckless and negligent driving," said the City of Cape Town about its new traffic police.

And the song you are most likely to hear blaring as you walk down main road:

If there's something strange, in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

MINISTER TRUMPS MINION

While the hawks and ghosts soar across the skies, law-makers sit twiddling their thumbs in Parliament. Yip, life as an MP is apparently boring.

"Very little real stimulating debates take place in this House, and quite frankly… debates themselves have become little more than speech-reading sessions, rather than real debates," said DA Deputy Chief Whip Mike Ellis.

"Question time, as it is structured now, is probably the most boring part of the parliamentary programme. It should never, ever be this."

And while Mr Ellis paints a picture of rotund and vastly-overpaid MPs snoozing in the benches as the minister-of-nothing-consequential-at-all drones on in a dull monotone, the following exchange suggests otherwise…

"We have an army that is over-stretched; a navy which is under-stretched; and an airforce with nothing to stretch," said DA defence spokesperson David Maynier during a debate on the defence budget.

"I'm very glad, extremely glad you left the defence force. Quite clearly, you have given more to drama than to service. Mr Maynier, the term 'Chihuahua' comes to mind. Does it come to your mind?" responded Defence Minister Lindiwe Sisulu.

Seriously… that's better than Idols.

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