The Point is considering seeking asylum. Yip, Canada — the land of the bland — is calling. On the plus side: there's a lot of snow. On the downside: there's a lot of snow.

They also have ice-hockey; Mounties; and Brandon Huntley.

That should give me just aboot enough material for one column. Damn! It looks like I'm here to stay, which is just as well, really, because I suspect that venomous online verbal attacks are probably not grounds for asylum.

And, to be honest, despite the compelling draw-card of cops in naff red jackets on horses, I'd still much rather live in SA. For one, few other countries can claim to have as thoroughly entertaining politicians as we do. And — with the exception of those hate-filled individuals who feel compelled to litter cyberspace with (grammatically poor) racist vitriol (Canada can have them) — the people are pretty awesome too.

Did I mention 'District 9'?

Actually, now that I think about it, 'District 9' works quite nicely as a theme for this week's column. If you haven't seen it, it's all about aliens, refugees, ignorance, intolerance…and, of course, violence.

BLAME CANADA!

Not surprisingly, the ANC had a comeback when Canada granted a South African citizen refugee status on the grounds of his race.

"The African National Congress views the granting by Canada of refugee status to South African citizen Brandon Huntley on the grounds that Africans would 'persecute' him, as racist."

For once, I am inclined to agree with them. Unfortunately, as 'racist' is the ANC's standard response to any criticism or perceived slight, the fact that they happen to be correct this time could be nothing more than chance.

Chance: something which seems to have applied to the word order of this sentence.

"These allegations would have been as preposterous as they are laughable had they not been of such a serious nature," said Home Affairs spokesperson Ronnie Mamoepa.

Erm… I suspect that sentence would have been a little more effective had the words 'preposterous' and 'laughable' been switched.

Perhaps he should have stuck to the simple stuff like our new top cop Bheki Cele.

"Criminals in South Africa… they look at what you have, rather than looking at your face. My house was broken into and some stuff was taken… and I remain black."

Hmm…somewhat like the overwhelming majority of white people who find employment… and remain white.

Sometimes it is necessary to state the obvious.

THE ULTIMATE SANCTION

Luckily a full-scale genocide doesn't actually seem to be on the cards. For one thing, the army just took a serious hit. Roughly 2000 soldiers.

"We have decided following legal processes available to the defence force and within the defence force to proceed with the ultimate sanction that will allow the soldiers to separate, which means they will be dismissed," said Defence Minister Lindiwe Sisulu following the recent soldier strike.

Ah, I must remember that if ever I have to fire someone: Mr Smith, we have decided to implement the ultimate sanction and separate you from your computer.

I won't be surprised, however, if the soldiers are a little confused. This is what government spokesperson Themba Maseko had to say:

Those involved "must accept no sympathy from the state, as the law will take its course".

I suspect the word he was looking for was 'expect'.

Surprisingly, Sisulu found an ally in the Umkhonto we Sizwe veterans, who believe that soldiers should not be allowed to unionise.

"The tendency that is developing whereby everyone protests every time there is a problem without interacting or going through the correct channels is disturbing as it breeds a culture of non-engagement and feeds a culture of unpatriotic citizenship."

This coming from the guys who vowed to make the Western Cape ungovernable when the Zillenator did something they didn't agree with.

MALEMA AND THE LADIES

Finally, a word from everyone's favourite human rights activist, who has spent the week fighting the 'imperialists and colonisers' in court.

"I am a defender of women, I am an activist. The latest woman I defended was the golden girl who was subject to harassment."

And you thought his 'welcome-home' trip was all about showing up white people.

"I don't have a history in my personal life, political life, of promoting hatred to women."

Hmm… assuming that this propagator of women's rights actually meant 'promoting hatred towards women', there is still that small issue of truth…

The Sonke Gender Justice Network need only utter two words to unravel young Julius's testimony: Helen Zille.

The Point invites all comments that are (a) funny and (b) not racist. Otherwise, just share your favourite quote from the week!

The beggar gauntlet Rebekah Kendal reckons that begging is bad for SA because it fosters a culture of dependency.

Visit our politics page Need the latest political news, features, interviews and profiles? Visit our dedicated page...

Behind closed doors Rebekah Kendal reckons that the real losers in the Percy saga are victims of domestic abuse.