Alas, dear readers, this is the last column that I will be writing as The Point for the foreseeable future.
In completely unrelated news, due to various threats on The Point's identity, The Point will be entering a witness protection programme and will therefore be acquiring a new name. The Writer formerly known as The Point will be blogging quietly from a secret location. Ruminate on that if you will.
It seems somewhat fitting that The Munchkin, who has provided The Point with such delectable material over the years, is the subject of this final column. The topic of much rumination this past week has been Malema's little trust fund. Well, to put it more accurately, the trust that may or may not be funding aspects of his lifestyle which even the banks don't deem creditworthy. Think of him as an ANC trust-fund baby.
Not surprisingly, South Africans across the political spectrum responded in truly predictable ways.
AfriForum, doing what it does best (okay, fine, doing all that it ever seems to do), laid a criminal charge against Prince Juju on the grounds of corruption.
"If a person's lifestyle is disappropriate to a known income, then it warrants an investigation. We want the police to have a look at it," said AfriForum CEO Kallie Kriel. Disappropriate? The Point is a fan of new words. This one seems to be the love-child of a disproportionate and inappropriate desire to use words with incorrigible prefixes. Kriel, who clearly spends some time ruminating over public perception, added the following disclaimer: "If this is seen to be a grudge [What? Nooooo... never! An obsession, perhaps.], so be it... This is in the public interest. Justice should prevail".
Indeed it should. In fact, this is one point on which most South Africans agree. Take, for example, the ANC's kiddies club. They too want justice, but only if she'll nail those imperialists responsible for crimes of capitalism. Otherwise she's all Msholozi's.
"We are asking these questions to educate and walk [walking the talk, talking the walk] with members of the public about the ulterior motive of the capitalist imperialists and their representative in the form of the Rupert family, which will do everything in their power to maintain the status quo of massive racialised wealth inequalities in South Africa," said the Floydster.
Yip, the Ruperts – the entire family – had a conference call with the editor of the City Press during which they urged her to set up a trust of which Malema is the sole trustee, to name it after his son for good measure, and to ensure that dodgy (capitalist) businessmen in search of tenders channel their spare cash into the account. Sure, it seems like a lot of effort to go to if you wish to besmear the good reputation of one upstanding comrade, but really, when the stakes are so high, who wouldn't go that extra mile? Besides which, evil imperialists have a lot of spare time on their hands.
The Floydster continued: "All these publications replicate the apartheid ideology of white supremacy and portray black people as corrupt or superstitious human beings with no potential to develop and engage in conscious social, political and economic issues confronting South Africa".
I hate to nitpick here, but I think that if you ruminate on the content of the reports that the kiddies club find offensive, you'll probably discover that these publications do not portray "black people" (plural) as corrupt, but rather just an individual (singular) who also happens to be black.
However, the Race Card is an irresistible tool for those who lack the facilities to construct anything vaguely representing a logical argument or solid defence. Another member of the kiddies club, deputy president Ronald Lamola, decided to see how far the Race Card defence can be pushed before you just look plain silly. The Point reckons he probably stumbled across the answer.
"This is the Broederbond that we are speaking about, that it is still there."
Seriously? Yip, the City Press's distinguished editor Ferial Haffajee is in cahoots with the Broederbond. They overlook the small detail that she is neither white nor male and she overlooks the fact that, technically, the Broederbond no longer exists.
Jan Bosman, the secretary of the current incarnation of the Broederbond, the Afrikanerbond, was not impressed with the youth league's attempts to obfuscate the matter of where Malemamunchkin gets his pocket money.
"Very sinister plots and conspiracy theories have been attributed to the Broederbond in the past, but this is probably the most flimsy attempt yet in blaming something or someone for the allegations against Mr Malema."
While The Point is a little sceptical about whether all of the past so-called "conspiracy theories" were just theories, I have to agree that this verges on the ridiculous.
"To involve the Broederbond as part of the ANC Youth League's explanation of Mr Malema's finances will most definitely not make the allegations surrounding Mr Malema disappear."
And therein lies Mr Bosman's error – he assumes that the ANCYL is providing an explanation. A defensive strike; a counter-attack; an attempt to lower the national IQ? Maybe. But an explanation? Never.
Johan Rupert, when asked to comment on the ANCYL's latest allegations, simply said: "The ANCYL is like a mosquito in one's tent".
Ah, yes, the humble mosquito — one of Africa's mightiest killers. Let's hope this one isn't carrying malaria.
And, finally, The Point would like to thank all those readers who have read the column week in and week out over the past couple of years for their loyalty. Ready, set, ruminate.