Last Upd: 04:04pm 19 Jul 2009

Week in Quotes

Article By: The Point

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 10:55

The Point has a superpower. Okay, fine, maybe not a superpower; maybe just a power… or a sixth sense or something. Yip, behind the cunning guise of this pseudonym lies a hero just waiting to save South Africa from itself…

I have… wait for it… a BS-detector.

I know, I know, not quite supersonic speed or x-ray vision, but it's still pretty cool, right? Here's how it works: as soon as I encounter some BS, the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise and an alarm goes off in my head (sounds a little like this: beep, beep, beeeep, beeeep!) and then… well… then I usually just say something sarcastic. Occasionally I even say it to other people.

For the record, that whole x-ray vision thing: BS. Seriously, think about it.

CUNNING BS

Premise one: Judges posses the qualities of integrity and impartiality.
Premise two: John Hlophe is a judge.
Conclusion: now there's a conundrum for all those Logic 101 students…

Yip, the judge most likely to set off the alarm in my head is at it again.

"I believe that people need law that embodies their own culture and their values. We need to Africanise our law and make it relevant to the masses."

Beep, beeep, beeeep!

What he actually said: if Zuma can be president, then I sure as hell can be chief justice.

He also said a bunch of other stuff, including this: "Just take out all the Latin expressions from the judgments and make them simple for people to understand."

Good idea. And, while we're at it, let's do away with all those Latin-sounding medical terms and those Greek-sounding mathematical formulas…

BOMBASTIC BS

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Sorry… I forgot: I have a default setting for Julius Malema.

Yip, instead of swallowing his pride, apologising for his ludicrous rape-related statements, and proving to the nation that he really and truly has stopped taking his blankie to bed, the King of BS said this:

"We will never apologise to some Mickey Mouses who want to put pressure on us… We are in court because the whites who are sponsoring this organisation (Sonke Gender Justice Network), they want to make sure they embarrass the leaders of this movement."

And, just in case you didn't quite follow his infallible logic:

"The black faces you see in front. Those are not real faces; they represent the whites who are opposed to African leadership."

Erm…so basically what he is saying is this: Mickey Mouse and his buddies seem to have black faces but, when it comes down to it, it is actually just their ears and Walt Disney has imperialist designs on the ANCYL. Despite the fact that he is dead.

I suspect that there is another interpretation, but it's not likely to make any more sense.

DEFLECTION BS

Cope elicited a pretty standard response this week — from former members, current members, and recently-suspended members.

Former member Lynda Odendaal: "I can't lie to South Africa and I can't lie to myself. I think people (who voted for Cope) will feel the way I do. I feel cheated."

Beep. Beep.

Current member Terror Lekota: "Where is the evidence that these people are fighting? People can't just keep saying these people are fighting when you don't see a nose that is bleeding."

Beep. Beep.

Recently-suspended member Simon Gindrod: "It is not the membership of Cope that is the problem, it's the leadership who remain closeted behind a brick wall of denialism."

Beep… well, that's at least half true. The second half.

NONSENSICAL BS

BS can be fairly nuanced — there's cunning BS (Hlophe); there's bombastic BS (Malema); and then there's, well, this…

"When you associate with the ANC, (coloureds) think you are with the blacks. Part of us de-racialising society is by getting rid of the idea of the swart gevaar. It is a figment of their imagination. I have mixed with coloureds all my life, I have coloured friends and my religion (Islam) is considered a coloured religion," said the infamous Badih Chaaban, who would probably be described by a vast majority of most South Africans as 'coloured'.

A three-letter acronym comes to mind. It starts with the letter W and ends with the letter F.

Equally cryptic, the man we love to hate: Carl Niehaus.

"When I ask for forgiveness for what I have done wrong, I do not do so by trying to accept a lack of responsibility. I do not want to escape my responsibility. I want to be the person who made the decision to join the ANC when I was 19 and stuck with it. I don't want to be the person who made wrong decisions."

Step into my time machine… beep, beep.

NO MORE BS

And, finally, a word or two from the man who cuts through all the BS.

"We are humbled by the call for an annual Mandela Day in our honour. Our struggle for freedom and justice was a collective effort. Mandela Day is no different. It is in your hands to create a better world for all who live in it. Mandela Day will not be a holiday but a day devoted to service."

Do you hear that? Silence…

Happy birthday Madiba!

The Point wants to know if you have a superpower. Share your thoughts below…