Behind closed doors

Raise your hand if you think Percy Montgomery punched his wife. I'm guessing at least half of you raised your hands. Now, raise your hand if you think the whole messy reputation-destroying saga is best resolved as a family matter.

I'm willing to bet a fair number of you raised your hands a second time.

Whether or not Percy actually punched his wife will remain forever in the realm of speculation. Perhaps he did; perhaps he didn't. Perhaps she walked into the door or fell down the stairs. Perhaps she was just looking for attention.

Despite initially laying rather specific charges at the police station, Percy's wife has withdrawn all charges.

"No charges are being pressed, no court appearances will be taking place and we are simply distressed that ten minutes of flared tempers have led to headlines," said the statement issued by the Montgomery family.

While tempers may have been 'flared' for a mere ten minutes, it takes a good deal longer than ten minutes to get into your car, drive down to the police station, and lay an assault charge.

A 'family matter'

Now, this leads us to one of two inevitable conclusions. Neither of which is good for the victims of domestic abuse. The first is that Percy's wife was lying when she laid the charge. The second is that Percy did, indeed, hit his wife, and she has now been coerced, like so many victims of domestic abuse, into withdrawing the charges.

As I said, neither bodes well for the victims of domestic abuse.

Although it is estimated that one in every six women is battered by her husband or boyfriend, domestic abuse is still not widely recognised as a crime in this country. In fact, many South Africans regard it as a family affair and believe that it should be kept behind closed doors.

And, for the most part, it is. But when a high-profile case, such as that involving Percy and his wife, hits the headlines, we are forced to look at this ugly stain on our society. We are forced to re-evaluate our preconceived ideas about who fits the profile of an abuser and who fits the profile of the abused.

When such a high-profile case is suddenly withdrawn — with the family's lawyer claiming it is a 'family matter' — we should be concerned about the message that this act sends out to the perpetrators and victims of domestic abuse.

Are you a victim of abuse?

Although women are largely the victims of domestic abuse, men can be victims too. The Domestic Violence Act covers all violence which occurs within a domestic relationship. This includes relationships between all family members, un-married couples, same-sex couples and housemates.

Furthermore, domestic abuse is not limited to physical violence. It encompasses sexual abuse (even within a marriage), damage to property, economic abuse (the withholding of funds to which you are legally entitled), stalking and emotional abuse (degrading or humiliating behaviour, repeated insults or threats).

If you are the victim of domestic abuse, there are two legal options available to you. The first is to get a protection order from the court, which instructs the perpetrator to stop the abusive behaviour (and puts in place legal consequences if he or she does not do so). The second is to lay a criminal charge at the police station.

For most victims of domestic abuse, taking legal action takes tremendous courage and it is, therefore, rarely done.

The police have criticised the Montgomery family for wasting police resources. This should not, however, have been their point of concern. In fact, in taking this particular line of criticism, the police may have contributed further to the problem of domestic abuse.

The group of individuals tasked with protecting South African citizens from harm should have been more concerned about all those individuals who have now been deterred from reporting domestic abuse. And that, potentially, includes Percy's wife.

Do you think South Africans need to change the way they think about domestic abuse? Share your thoughts below...

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