Music aficionados have welcomed the announcement that floppy-haired pop crooners Josh Groban and James Blunt will fight to the death in a steel cage in front of an audience of Thai and Vietnamese gamblers. Organisers said punters are looking forward to seeing "how humble and cute they still are when they've got thumbs in their eye-sockets".

Fans of classic rock hailed the match-up as a major step forward in musical history, and tickets are reportedly being snapped up by pundits who are being promised an "extremely bloody encounter between the two most irritating girlyboys in pop music".

Fight promoter Soon Yang Wok said the idea for the fight came to him in a Swiss hotel.

"They were playing Josh's greatest hits in the lift, and then James's in the lobby, and I suddenly thought, 'What those two great artists really need is to have their faces mashed into the wall of a steel cage while hundreds of South East Asian gamblers scream abuse and throw grubby dollar bills into the bloody sawdust under their feet'."

He said both Groban and Blunt were interested in the fight, and were trying to rearrange recording commitments.

According to their respective agents, Groban is currently recording an album focussing on chunky woollen sweaters and kissing milkmaids on the cheek in Irish meadows, while Blunt's new album, entitled 'Me, Me, Me, Me, Why Aren't You Looking At Me, Can't You See I'm The Most Modest and Funny Bloke In The Room, You Middle-Class Twat?' is due for release later this year.

Meanwhile, bookmakers say they are struggling to calculate odds ahead of the fight.

"They're almost completely indistinguishable," said a spokesman for Ladbrokes.

"They've got the same hair, they wear the same clothes, they've got the same irritating white-boy lameness, and they've both got eyes that are slightly too close together, like prawns."

However, he said that Blunt's bigger gums could help him "if it came to that".

Promoter Wok said he too expected a close-fought affair, and said it was unlikely that both crooners would survive the bout.

However, he said, if one of them did survive, he would "probably be fed to pigs, just in case".

He added that the feasting pigs would be recorded professionally, and sampled for possible commemorative remixes of Groban and Blunt chart-toppers.

For more from SA's best satirical website, www.hayibo.com, please click here.

This article does not necessarily reflect the view of iafrica.com or the news editor.

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